Making a hand before leaving

Maybe the first sign the trip would be successful was at the airport. We had decided to try and catch an earlier flight by going stand by. Though we were assured there was plenty of room, there was a crowd up by the gate. But the attendant quickly issued us a seat and we were good to go. Catching a flight to get you into Vegas 3 hours earlier is just like scooping a sizable pot.

I survived the flight and the 60 year old horny woman behind me. I could tell she was from the south side of Milwaukee by the number of times she said "yooz boyz". She was determined to have a blast and walk around a casino in her night gown. That was a sight I didn't want to see.

We checked into the Excalibur rather quickly using their check-in kiosk. Damn good machine. I don't know why others were standing in line waiting for a human. We were in and up the elevator within 5 minutes. Then again, maybe this isn't the best idea. Check out the beautiful view we had.

Some get a strip view, we got the great 4th floor brick wall view. Then again, we weren't going to spend time in the room. I was there with my friend Cor and he wanted to play some poker. More specifically, a tournament. The Mandalay Bay 6 was in about an hour so we started to walk on over.

When we got there we were informed it was already sold out. They also mentioned to get there early for the morning tourney too. What? Apparently their tournies are selling out fast now. I was disappointed as I recall them being nice and soft. Instead, I was sitting down at a 4/8 with a 1/2 kill while Cor took a seat at the 2/4.

Things started slowly and I didn't get anywhere. Kings ran into a set of Jacks but I bailed on the turn knowing I was beat. I played loose at first but then tightened up quickly. I like to play some pots early to settle in and project a weak image. This will usually get me some bigger pots later.

As I dipped down, Cor took down a bonus jackpot with quad Kings. Bastard didn't even tell me!

I watched as one old grouchy guy with retarded maniacal smile got pissed at a solid player. He claimed he checked when he didn't. Got really pissed about calling the bet. Yep, 8 dollars pissed him off. He kept crabbing about it for the next orbit. Meanwhile, two other players disappeared. This is something that I would see a lot of. The locals liked to just be in the poker room. Doesn't matter if they play. Put their chips down, play some pots and then walk around for the next hour. But at Mandalay, they have a 3 man walking rule. If a 3rd person gets up, they lose their spot. The floor will rack their chips up and give away their seat. So if you had to piss bad, you were kinda screwed.

The table changed players up a bit. The only solid guy left for the tournament only to return 20 minutes later and be a victim to the Hammer. The table was getting boring so when the Hammer showed up, I decided to drop it on them. Got two callers. Flop came A J 7. I bet it again. One guy folded, and the solid guy looked at me, said he wanted to see one more card and called. Turn was a rag and I bet it out. He quickly folded. I slammed the cards down and yelled "Hammer!". Solid guy gave me credit and didn't take offense. Others were confused and whispering with each other.

We played just a couple of hours before hunger set in. I cashed in up a couple of bucks and we headed out to get something to eat. Cor wanted the Luxor buffet so we ate there. It wasn't bad. Wasn't great either. It did sit in my stomach taking up precious room that had been reserved for beer.

After dinner and an impatient blackjack session, it was off to the Excalibur poker room to play the spread game. During one of the numerous sessions at the castle, I learned that they may be moving the poker room. Word is the sports book is taking the space in the poker room. Where the poker room is going is unknown. Supposedly it is not going where the sports book is. Why they want to move a nice active poker room is a mystery to me.

The play in the castle is so soft. Like a stripper's ass soft. I doubled up in a couple of hours playing a tight game. I probably came off like an asshole to one guy too. Just as I sat down, this guy who claimed to be an "ex-everything" (like a Marine, weapons specialist, cow farmer, other bullshit) said he wanted to kick Michael Vick's ass. I told him he was a fool. Vick would beat him senseless. He responded that he would get him from behind. Yeah, Marine my ass!

I talked with the guy on my left a bit. He was from Chicago sporting the Walter Payton jersey. He was getting some good hands busted on the river. But he wasn't going to leave because the other black guy on the other end of the table was terrible. He called down many hands. Time after time he would fold on the river. I kept betting into him like a madman and taking his chips. That is until I went card dead and folded for what seemed like forever. It didn't matter much as we were having a good time.

Somehow the conversation turned to cow tipping. We argued whether it was real or not. I know people who claim to have tipped cows but I myself never have. The dealer and Payton insisted it could be done while ex-everything, who lived on a farm with cows, said it was an urban legend. Either way, it was fun arguing with this drunk guy and taking his chips away.

I called it a night around 3 when the table broke up. I had doubled up so I was content. I knew I would be back. This table would be a reflection of how the Excalibur would play out.

UP NEXT: Checking out the Trop, playing blind, suckout session at the Aladdin and the moron at Monte Carlo.