Table 16: A view from the 9 seat Part I

There are times in life when forces collide in just the right pattern that triggers an event you just didn't expect. When these natural phenomena occur, you can only bathe in the experience and enjoy the moment. Something special happened in the MGM poker room on Friday, December 11 which shall be told in tales for years to come. Like Woodstock, many will claimed to have played the game, but only a handful took a seat. This is my story about table 16.

I was sitting at a blackjack table in the Party Pit at the Excalibur. I was down $100 but was a bit perplexed by what was going on in front of me. Apparently the Excal thought that having girls dance as people gambled was a good idea. Me? I felt dirty. It was like playing 21 in a strip club except I was seeing any ta-tas.

Having gotten enough covered T&A, I got up and made the trek over the MGM poker room. Once there I signed up for a 1/2 table. I was about 4th on a list so I just hung out in front of the room checking my iPhone. About 5 minutes later I was called and told to report to table 16 where a new game was being opened. I stopped along the way to speak to Chilly where I was told I would be playing with Otis and GRob. Huh? I was confused as they play 2/5.

As I approached the table they were there. Otis has sat down in the 5 seat with GRob in the 8 seat. I could take the 6 or 9. I quickly recalled reading many a story about the G-Vegas games and immediately took the 9 seat. If I had learned anything about those games it was that I wanted to have position on GRob. As I sat down I asked Otis what he was doing slumming on the 1/2 table. He said the 2/5 either wasn't running yet or there was a list. GRob then asks if I knew him. I responded yes, I had met him before. I had also met GRob but he may not have remembered.

The game started innocently enough. If I recall correctly, seat 1 was a black man who liked to shove his chips around. Seat 2 was a young buck with a blue plaid hat. He was pretty aggressive, but not that good. Seat 3 was an attractive buxom blonde who was with blud plaid hat. She rarely played any cards but when she leaned back it put a smile on my face. Seat 4 I will call Brass Testicles as he opened and closed the game. It took some brass balls to play with this group. Seat 5 was Otis. Seat 6 was... hmm... who was in seat 6? I don't think anyone started in 6. Seat 7 eludes me as well. Seat 8 was GRob and I was there in 9. Seat 10 was a young LA douchebag type. He was cool but had too much stuff on his hands and wrists.

Game started ok. Nothing for cards was acceptable. I wanted to play "my game". Picked some spots to make a move until I could chip up and then kick in some aggression. I didn't play many pots to start. I did hit a flush when I called Brass Testicles' raise with 10 8 hearts. I called his flop bet just to hit my flush on the turn. We both checked. I then bet the river when he quickly checked. I was confident my 10 high flush was good and just grabbed some chips to put out there. I wanted to do it in a manner that made it look like I was betting just to take it down right there. He thought for a bit before calling my $30 and the pot was shipped my way.

This table played along just fine for a while. Unfortunately Otis took some lumps. He got sucked out on by LA Douch who went runner runner for a straight. He tangled with blue plaid hat a couple times giving and taking. Somehow Brass Testicles survived though he stopped playing many hands.

Things would liven up when GRob ran his hand into pocket aces. He then made the comment that he always finds the aces. He called himself Ace Finder and began to talk about how he would soon have his own TV show on the Encore channel. This prompted Otis to belt out in a nice falsetto "Ace Finder". It was like tipping a teetor totter to one side. The balance was off and we were slowly slipping into silliness. The Ace Finder talk kept it lively.

Soon blue plaid hat would take the hot buxom blonde away. I would sigh in sadness. The Penner brother would take over seats 1 & 2. The black guy hit trips and soon got out with his double. The Penners would stay a while. But it wasn't until the BadBlood and TheMark hit the room that things would devolve even further. They walked in and saw the 5 of us and two open seats. I think Blood drooled a bit before paying off the floor man $20 for seat 6.

With Blood in Seat 6 and TheMark taking Seat 3 it got all kinds of crazy. GRob made the comment to me that things were really about to change. That the time to play tight was nigh and be ready for wild action. That may have been the biggest understatement of the year. Maybe the decade.

TheMark got it going by doubling through Otis. Somehow he kept getting more chips. He literally had a mound of chips in front of him. His betting would consist of just grabbing a handful and dropping them on the table. Sometimes he would use the bulldozer techniqueand push part of the mass in front of him over the line. Any which way he did it, the bets were big and out of control.

BadBlood seemed to revel in this insanity. Years of death metal may have prepared him for this dance with the devil. His stack was like a yo yo going up and down. He had rebought a couple of times. And he was using his stack aggressively as well. These boys kept me in check with the action. I was ok for the most part, trying to be patient and find a place to strike. I kept chatting up GRob for tips on how to play these guys. I had a little table experience with Blood but nothing with TheMark.

Soon The Luckbox CJ would take the 7 seat join as did TheMark's friend Mutray taking the 1 seat after The Penners would leave. Joe Speaker would take the 2 seat. Chips would be flying all over the place. Comments being tossed to and fro. Good friends taunting each other and seeing who had the balls to bluff someone out of a pot. Big stacks being tossed. New episode of Ace Finder being discussed ("Daddy, I seemed to have lost my aces. What do I do? This is a job for Ace Finder!!") Hilarity ensued.

How the hell did I get in the middle of the G-Vegas home game?

Now we have a table of people that know each other. Except for Brass Testicles in seat 2 and the ever changing seat 10. One guy showed up and was given a warning by Otis about the Tom Foolery going on. He said he could handle it. But he couldn't. He watched one hand and picked up his chips and walked. Another guy would soon sit down, get the same warning, and be felted in a couple orbits. It wasn't until Iggy sat in 10 that this Motley Crew would be finalized.

Coming up in Part II...
5k on the table
DQBssss!!!!!
Tip Tip!
All stand for the playing of our national anthem
Dodging a bullet
They cut off the table???
One last bang.