Friday, December 05, 2008

Blogger History: Myth or Legend?

There are a lot of stories handed down from generation to generation. The tales get twisted in different ways, becoming more outlandish every time they are told. Some of these stories are true. And HIlarious.

I give you the legend of Drizz as first told on December 14, 2006 at the super fantastic blog, While Drinking, I...

The following is my recollection of what went down early Friday morning at the Imperial Palace in Las Vegas. The time? Not quite sure but I believe it was between the hours of 4 and 6 am. The name of the fallen will not be used to protect the drunkencent. Yes, I said drunkencent. New word. Drunk + Innocent. Ok, so anyone getting face down in a public restroom isn't innocent but protecting the name is the thing to do. And no, I am not saying a "friend" had this happen to him to protect my own identity.

I was moving all about the IP on Thursday. I ran into Pauly, Derek, and Change 100 after checking in. I had placed the successful roulette bet for a friend and had finished giving him the blow by blow on his victory. Upon doing so I moved down a couple tables to get my Pai Gow on. After squeaking out a small profit, I would be out to the poker room for some hi jinks before hitting the Geisha bar for more booze.

Time can fly when you are in Vegas. I recall many a time sitting down to play blackjack just to get up what seemed like a couple of hours later just to realize it was 10 and the sun had come up. That is how things flowed at the Geisha bar. Friends from all over were arriving and the greetings, hug, kisses, etc. were flowing. I recall at one point going back to the Pai Gow table with Pablo. Then to blackjack. And then back to the bar.

It was there that security approached us. My first reaction was that someone thought we were a bit too boisterous and they were going to ask us to keep it down. Instead, they asked a question.

"You guys friends with Dale Ezgt?" (how is that for a made up name?)
"Well, he is upstairs in the men's room, on the floor. Can you guys help him get up?"

It was Biggestron and I that would go up the long escalators and down the hall to the mens room. Sure enough, there he was. On all fours. Calling for Ralph to help him. Well, the great porcelain telephone didn't connect his call but me and Big were there to help. We got him up and on his feet which wasn't an easy feat. Dale is a big boy. Even with us under his pits, dragging dead weight is not an easy nor fun task. But we did manage to get him to the elevator and down to the lobby, up the steps and into a minivan cab.

It was down the back of the strip we were going, on our way to New York New York to get our friend back to his room. Things seemed pretty good. Until Dale insisted we pull over cuz he was gonna puke again. Normally I would say no and tell the cabbie to keep on going. But I was in the back with him and didn't need to get yakked on. The cabbie found a parking lot and pulled in. I pulled Dale out and he stumbled forward before collapsing on the pavement. He heaved a bit and then began to pass out. Shit! We quickly got him up and back in the cab.

Upon our arrival at NY NY, he poured himself out into valet parking. The attendant on hand looked at him and told us to let him be a bit. He would call security and they would bring a wheelchair. See, that proves what a classy establishment the NYNY is. They give free wheelchair rides to those who are walking challenged. Unlike the IP where they require human crutches to move someone.

It took security a while to get down with the chair. All the time I kept Dale propped up against my legs. Why? I have no clue. I think I saw something like this in a TV show or something. Security showed up, got him in the chair, and got him up to the room. I don't know how we got his room number out of him but we did. Security did call to verify he was a registered guest and called his wife to make sure she would allow him in. I am not sure if she had to sign a waiver or a statement saying she wouldn't beat the hell out of him.

I tell you one thing I learned that night. Getting a friend back down the strip to his room when they are blotto can be a sobering experience. I felt sober by the time I got back to the Geisha bar and really needed another drink.

I admire how the NY NY staff handled the situation too. In Milwaukee, Dale would have probably been picked up by the police or taken to a hospital. In Vegas, I guess they deal with it everyday. The way the parking attendant and security took care of the situation so non chalantly was perplexing to me.

"Another drunk? No problem. Get the chair out again Joe!"

So what have we learned? Simple. Get drunk and you get free wheelchair rides. I will have to try that out next time I am in Vegas and don't feel like walking back to my room.

Oh, and hope that those who come get you don't have camera phones. I do have pics of someone praying to the great sewer gods.


$mokkee said...

vg recollection. if ever i get drunk and incapacitated i hope you're in close proximity.

well done sir

Biggestron said...

Either you forgot about or never saw the look that "Mrs. Ezgt" gave us when we dropped Mr Ezgt off at his room. I think it was sometime around 5:30 in the morning.

It was two years ago and the memory of it still sends shivers down my spine.

Drizztdj said...

The wraith of my wife is usually reserved for me and better left that way.

Thank you again sir.

And I verify this legend is indeed true, and do not try this at home.