Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Iggy's Top Ten reasons for leaving the blogosphere

From the home office in Milwaukee, WI, here is the Top 10 reasons why Iggy is leaving Guinness & Poker...

10. Took as oath of silence after learning that Party Poker was going to pull out of the United States. Didn't realize until later that he was typing BONUS CODE IGGY DAMNIT, not actually saying it.

9. Finished linking every poker site, cartoon, picture and RGP post possible. At that point, he realized he had come to the end of the internet.

8. In a strange moment of clarity, decided living in a condola was the life for him. He can be found living with Sean by the railroad tracks behind his former office.

7. Promoted to CEO at Proctor and Gamble after developing Guinness flavored Crest. Believes Guinness Scope could be next breakthrough but doesn't know how to prevent people from swallowing it.

6. Taking job as jester at the Sherwood Forest bar, located in the Excalibur. Management figured since he is there for hours on end entertaining people, he might as well be on the payroll.

5. Discovered that Howard Beale was actually just a name BG created so he could fuck with him.

4. An exec at P&G Bobby Braceleted him when it was discovered he was blogging from work.

3. He entered the Skyhoundz 2007 World Championship and needs a year off to prepare his black fuzzy dog Toby for superstardom. Upon winning, Iggy plans to saddle the dog up and ride him around the field for a victory lap.

2. Off to the WWE to begin career as Little Cena, champion midget wrestler. You can't see him!

1. Closing down Guinness and Poker in order to open new sponsored site Budweiser and Poker. OH THE HUMANITY!!!

4 comments:

DuggleBogey said...

5. Discovered that Howard Beale was actually just a name BG created so he could fuck with him.

This killed me.

Drizztdj said...

Bravo on #5.

Too. Funny.

Huge Junk said...

11. Leaving to pursue a movie career as Swayze's younger brother in Roadhouse 2.

12. Leaving due to pressure from poker advertisers. Nobody puts Iggy in a corner!!!

Jeff said...

Hilarious.

Now go make some homebrew. You, Daddy and I can do an exchange program...