Back to the NateDog casino...Even Steven

It seemed like a Seinfeld episode. No matter what I did, I ended up even. I was out to make some money but that just didn't materialize. It isn't bad, but it isn't good. What it is, is frustrating. But it was a good time. What they need are bounties. Then I would have cleaned up.

The NateDog casino is this smoky little skanky "cardroom" hidden in Tosa. The proprieter apparently has no idea what a Rug Doctor is or what Mr. Clean does for a living. But the beer flows and the women...well, there aren't any women unless you count the porn that is constantly played on the tvs. There is a window open for some reason and the room is freezing. A foul stench is coming from the other room which makes you gag anytime someone moves. This place was terrible.

It was a different crowd for me. I had only played with a handful of the guys assembled and there was one that was suppose to be the shark. Curly was there wearing a Funky Pirate hat. Go ahead and insert joke here. Any words like butt, ass, rump, etc. can be inserted before pirate. Last night, I think they were. Phish, a guy who was hard to put on a hand at times, until I finally paid attention to what he was truly doing, who was wearing a Phish tour shirt. Brownshirt who was a rather loose player. Literski, a former co-worker who can be pretty damn tight. NateDog, the host. First Hand French, a co-worker. His brother, the shark from Detroit. I was told he was the one to be aware of. The favorite going in.

I wore my "NUTS" shirt that I had received from my bro for Christmas. Couple that with the Badger Poker hat and my card protector and I was the quintessential poker nerd. The guys were digging the shirt early on, especially when I started busting people out. And that didn't take long.

First hand, I am under the gun with A K. Good start. I raise it up 30 and get two callers. Flop comes A K x, rainbow. Sweet flop. I bet it out, I believe 50. First Hand French quickly calls, I believe it was Brownshirt that folded. Turn is a rag. I bet it out again, this time 100. He calls again. Hmm... River is nothing of note and I push all in. If he had trips I am sure he would have raised on the turn or at some point. He calls and asks if I have a set. No, just top two pair. That is good enough to beat his A Q and I double up on the very first hand. First Hand French is banished to the basement to play Halo.

Next hand, I catch K K in the big blind. Wow! Big switch from playing online just a couple hours ago. I raise it up 50 from there and catch a caller, the Funky Pirate. Flop comes A J x. The one card I don't want to see flies on out. I bet it to see if he has it. I kept it small just in case and went with 40. He calls. I check the turn as does he. The only chance I have now is to bet the river. A blank hits and I put out 30. I know FP won't re-raise unless he had a monster. He just calls and shows the A. I feel I got away with little damage there.

NateDog is playing Halo soon when he dumps some chips to Brownshirt and then tilts his remainder away. I take out Literski on a nice slow play. I am in the big blind with A 4, the A being a diamond. Flop comes with 2 3 J, all diamonds. Not bad, a nut flush draw and straight draw. Literski checks as do I. Turn is the K of diamonds. Cha Ching! Literski thinks for a while. I watch him stare at his chips. A good sign. He bets out 50. I think for a bit and call. River is a 5 of clubs. He thinks again and bets out 100 (I believe). I think to myself as well, wondering if I can knock him out right away. I ask how much he has left and go for the push. He calls. Cha Ching. When I announce I have the nuts, the Funky Pirate, Brownshirt and Phish go crazy. Literski is gone as the boys start saying that my Nuts shirt must have been flashing and to watch out for him.

We play some 5 handed for a while. Brownshirt and Funky Pirate are on the small stacks. FP doesn't last long and goes out. At one point here, someone figures out the stack sizes and apparently I am on the small stack now. I know why too. Shark had been bullying me. Every time I just tried to call the small blind to see a flop, he would raise it up. A good play on his part as I had some crappy hands that I was hoping to catch some cards on. Stupid on my part as J 2, J 6, J 3 ain't going to catch crap!

The Halo boys downstairs are getting restless. Our game is going on 2 hours and apparently they are getting tired of the game. They keep yelling upstairs for us to raise the blinds. Each time Phish tells them to SHOOT SOMEONE! or SHUT UP!

The four of us go back and forth for a while. Phish and Brownshirt seem to battle it out more. Chips are floating back and forth between them. I am stealing some blinds here and there. I just about knocked Phish out when I raised it up with Q J on a tight table. He thought for a while, even asking Brownshirt for help (which I didn't like but this is a friendly game and BS wasn't telling him what to do or at least not quite). He went over the top on me for only something like 30 more so I called to see his K 3. Huh? Q hit the flop but the K came on the turn for him to double up. Brownshirt finally gets busted out and I am at least getting my money back. Though I am behind here, I still have a chance. I start to catch some cards and push. With blinds at 40/80, and my stack around 300 (as oppose to theirs at 500-600 or so) I have little choice. I finally busted out with A 8 diamonds. Shark pushed me all in and I called it, feeling he had only a middle pair. He did. 7 7. My A hits the flop. River is a rag. Turn is a 7. Finito! I had him covered but with only 90 left I go all in blind and the Shark kills me with A J. Then they chop what was left. Hey, they could have done that with 3 left and evener stacks!!!

We draw cards for the seating assignments in the next game. Though he does call a raise, miraculously, First Hand French does not go out on the first hand in the second game! I believe he lasted more like 10. Phish went out early as did Brownshirt. Funky Pirate was playing some good cards, catching a straight and making them pay. NateDog was chipping up quite well himself.

I dropped a bad beat on Funky Pirate that stacked me up well. I believe I was in the big blind with A 6 hearts and checked it to see a flop. Flop came 9 8 3, rainbow. I bet 50 out. NateDog and Shark folded. Funky Pirate thought a bit and called. Turn was K of hearts. Two hearts on the board now. But I wasn't thinking that. FP checked and I pushed. I was intent on selling my bluff. He quickly called and turned over K J. I cried "Shit!". The river was a heart. It took a second for me to realize I hit runner runner for the flush. Sweet!

I was able to take out First Hand French. I knocked him out again when I raised blind from the button an extra 75. He pushed all in. It would be 75 more to me to call. I called since I had the stack and could easily handle it. He turned up Q Q and I K 10. K came on the flop and a 10 on the river.

I knocked Literski out soon after that. Can't quite recall how but we were down to 4 when Shark started to make his move. His first pot was against me. I had checked from the BB with J 8 off. Flop came Q 8 7. Funky Pirate checked. I checked. Shark thought and then checked. Turn was a 9. FP checked and as did I. Shark bet half of his stack, 100. FP folded. I began to study him and came to the conclusion he did not have a Q. The 8 may be good. So raised him all in for his last 100. He called and showed the straight with J 10. Shit. The one guy I did not want to see with chips was now back in the game. A couple of hands later he moved up again with a set of jacks at NateDogs expense.

Funky Pirate went out when he didn't catch his draw. I was back to getting my original $20 back once again. I was in 2nd with a nice lead over third. But luck would go against me. In the big blind, I raised it up 100 with A 10 clubs. Shark called. Flop came A 10 x, two hearts. I bet 100. He raised me 200. I pushed all in. He could only be on a draw or maybe have an A. He turned over 2 hearts. Not even two strong cards if I recall. J of hearts comes on the turn and I am done. They chop right there and I am Even Steven. Four and a half hours of play and I have nothing to show for it. That kinda sucked. It would have totally sucked it I didn't have a good time. But that is poker for you.


Bagmans words of wisdom- Hey, I started this "feature" in the Badger Poker posts and see no reason why to drop it. This exchange had me laughing pretty good. The Funky Pirate was going back and forth with Literski. These guys do this every time they play I guess. Well, at one point the Funky Pirate mentions that there are hookers in the basement and when you bust out you can well...bust it out. Literski kinda sighed. FP came back with a "well I know you are a religous man.." Literski quickly came back with "You don't think the Lord can't see you?" Funky Pirate shot back with a "Not in NateDog's laundry room!" Yes, the one place in the universe that the Almighty cannot see what is going on, His only blindspot is a laundry room in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin.

P.S. The NateDog casino is not the scummy place I described it as. It is a fine house that is owned by a renegade card player and whose wife makes sure there are enough candles burning to make the home smell like vanilla or cinnamon.